10 Jun 1947

I am a diligent student of history

that does not belong to me.

 

I can speak of the policy of appeasement,

and the arms race,

and the League of Nations. 

that fascinating incoherence

 

I can speak of the Deutchland 

broken and hungry for a war

that they could win.

 

the power of oration. 

the blitzkreig. and Uncle Sam

skipping in, fashionably late.

 

i can speak of six million in ashes

the deja vu of a midwinter Russian invasion.

I can speak of that holocaust.

 

I can never speak of trains oozing blood

and women in wells. I cannot speak

of that hate. I cannot list its causes

in bulletpoints. in ballpoint pen.

I cannot speak of migration.

I cannot speak of one million dead

by the sword. by the bare hand.

 

I can never speak of the history

that is mine.

too close to me

to focus.

too far from me

to read.